“I arranged for Kai and me to fly over the Golden Gate Bridge in a seaplane. Can you believe how cool that’s gonna be!!” I told my wife...

The average American meal lasts SEVEN MINUTES !! We don’t dine. We shovel. And what little conversation does occur often emerges through...

Stop waiting to see who watches No one watches At least not for long Everyone’s far too busy Looking in mirrors of their own ~ image...

“A Sneeze Between the Knees. That is an orgasm!” My college sex ed teacher opened her very first lecture with that jewel. Best...

Stuart Sheldon, Mother’s Day, Acrylic, Chinese funeral paper on panel, 24″x24″, 2004 I got divorced a long time ago. The short story is...

photo by Jenny Kaczorowski from WANA Commons We just finished bottle number two. Took us nearly ten years. Each drop another meal,...

A fellow painter invited me last week to be one of four artists at a South Beach corporate event. Live painting feels a bit like being a...

The heavy-around-the-middle cop shut the front door behind himself, took a notepad from his shirt pocket and flipped it open. His gaze...

Stuart Sheldon, The Name On Everyone’s Lips, acrylic and collage on panel, 2003 “If you smile at me I will understand. That is something...

Stuart Sheldon, Don’t Hide Behind Words, acrylic and pastel on canvas, 24″x24″, 2004 I shot my brother with a BB gun. IN THE TESTICLES....

I’m a beach guy. Slept on one on every continent but Antarctica. Born and raised in the teeny weeny bikini culture of Miami, F-L-A....

I waited alone to be seated in a Thai restaurant on Boulder’s Pearl Street Mall. In front of me a beefy frat boy and his...

I currently live in a 2600 square foot home that I consider a mansion after five years on a 928 sf Sausalito houseboat. Mind you, I’ll...

It used to pain me to admit that I met my wife online. As if I was too pathetic to find someone in the real world. I needed algorithms....

When did you last receive a hand written letter? When did you last write one? Is it a lost art? My mother’s mother and father loved each...

Stuart Sheldon, Whirled Wide Whimsy, typewriter on paper, collage, poetry, 11-1/2″x8-1/4″, 2003 We embarked on a proper family brunch...

I’m driving along two sunny Sunday’s ago, blasting Ramblin Man, when my wife calls. Confusion tints her voice. “What’s up with this poem...

Easy reading is damn hard writing. N. Hawthorn Stuart Sheldon, Follow It Home, acrylic and Chinese funeral paper on panel, 24″x24″, 2004...

Met an ex-Marine named Chad the other day. Guy was yoked, had "muscles on his muscles" as my dad liked to say. We got to talking about...

Whitney Houston in The Bodyguard The Bodyguard grossed $410 million worldwide. Amazing … since it sucked. I know. I worked on it, an...